Practically Shameless Press banner
Home
Holiday CD

Wants and Risks

For use with Exercise 1 on the Home for the Holidays CD.

   
  SOMETHING YOU MIGHT WANT FOR THE MAGICIAN PART OF YOU
 		  SOME POSSIBLE RISKS YOU MIGHT FACE IN GETTING IT
 		   
  I want to trust my intuition and trust what I know.   (1) I might misunderstand what my intuition tells me and get it wrong.
(2) My intuition might mislead me, and I might get it wrong.
(3) Trusting my intuition might separate me from people, and I'd be alone.
(4) I might not know how, and I'd feel afraid.
   
  I want some control over what happens.
  (1) I might get bored.
(2) I might get feedback that I'm controlling, and I'd feel shame.
(3) I might not know how, and I'd feel afraid.
   
  I want my family to hear and understand me.   (1) I might have to reciprocate, and spend more time with them than I really want to spend, and waste my time on relationships that don't help me much. I might waste time.
(2) That would be so different, I don't know what it would be like, and I'd feel afraid.
   
  I want to understand myself better.   (1) I might find out I'm a terrible person.
(2) I might have to take more responsibility for myself and work even harder than I do now, and life would be hard.

 		   
  I want to understand my family better.
  (1) I might find out I don't like them, and I'd feel more alone.
(2) I might find out they're wonderful people and I'm the only one with issues, and I'd feel shame and alienation.
(3) I might find out they're fine people who are so different from me that I'd feel more alone.



   
  SOMETHING YOU MIGHT WANT FOR THE SOVEREIGN PART OF YOU

 		  SOME POSSIBLE RISKS YOU MIGHT FACE IN GETTING IT

 		   
  I want my family to accept me the way I am, so that I feel lovable.

  (1) They might accept me only to go away again, which would hurt more than if they'd never accepted me.
(2) I might judge myself as unworthy of their acceptance and feel shame.
(3) I might lose my motivation and come to a standstill.

   
  I want to feel better about myself (feel less shame).

  (1) I might have to take more responsibility for myself and work harder to get what I want.
(2) I might lose my motivation and come to a standstill.

   
  I want to feel more joy.

  (1) I might get too full of myself, or be too loud, and people wouldn't like me.
(2) I might get less done, and I'd feel guilty.
(3) I might feel guilty about all the people who are suffering.

   
  I want to see the meaning in life.

  (1) The meaning might be something terrible: that I'm a bad person, or that God is evil, and I'd feel despair.
(2) I might find out there's no meaning in life, and I might feel despair.
(3) I might find out there's no meaning in life, and I might lose my motivation and come to a standstill.

   
  I want to feel more compassion for myself.

  (1) I might just be letting myself off the hook, I might be out of integrity with myself.
(2) I might find out I don't know how, and feel afraid.
(3) I might fall into self-pity and lose respect for myself.

   
  I want to connect with my Higher Power, I want more spirituality in my life.

  (1) I might find out God doesn't exist, and I'd feel despair.
(2) I might have to do more, and I'm already tired. Life would get harder.

   
  I want to stay away from the holiday gathering and still feel good about myself.

  (1) It might harm my relationship with them, and I'd be alone.
(2) I might find out they didn't care that I stayed away, and I'd feel unloved.
(3) That would be so different, it would be a big unknown, and I'd feel afraid.
(4) I might judge myself to be selfish and uncaring, and I'd feel shame.

   
  I want support from my family in this tough time I'm having right now.

  (1) I might get hurt.
(2) I might judge myself as weak or needy or not self-sufficient, and I'd feel shame.
(3) I might not know how to get their support, and I'd feel afraid.
(4) I might have to give them more support, too, and my life would be harder.

   
  I want to be more motivated.

  (1) I might work all the time and have no life, and I'd be alone.
(2) I might run roughshod over other people and end up alone.
(3) I might work all the time and not take care of myself, and I might become unhealthy.

   
  I want to be more whole, more connected to all parts of myself.

  (1) Some parts of me might not be welcome to the people around me, and I'd lose connection with them and be alone.
(2) I might not know how to do it, and I'd feel afraid.



   
  SOMETHING YOU MIGHT WANT FOR THE LOVER PART OF YOU

 		  SOME POSSIBLE RISKS YOU MIGHT FACE IN GETTING IT

 		   
  I want to stay more connected to myself.

  (1) I might be so connected with myself that I don't connect with anybody else, and I'd be alone.
(2) I might not know how and feel afraid.
(3) I might judge myself as selfish and uncaring, and I'd feel shame.

   
  I want to fit in and belong.

  (1) I might lose myself and sacrifice my needs.
(2) I might get hurt.
(3) I might not know how, and I'd feel afraid and alone.

   
  I want to have fun.

  (1) I might lose control and hurt somebody.
(2) I might not know how, and I'd feel afraid.
(3) I might lose control and feel shame. (4) Others may think I'm selfish, and I'd feel shame.


 		   
  I want to get back in touch with the family. I want to connect with them.

  (1) They might not want to connect with me, and I'd feel alone and unloved.
(2) I might lose myself and sacrifice my needs.
(3) I might get hurt.
(4) I might get angry and hurt somebody.
(5) I might not know how to connect, and I'd feel afraid or ashamed.

   
  I want to give pleasure to someone I love.

  (1) I might give more than I get back and feel resentful, and end up hurting somebody.
(2) I might give more than I get back and feel unlovable.
(3) I might do it wrong, or fail, and feel shame.



   
  SOMETHING YOU MIGHT WANT FOR THE WARRIOR PART OF YOU

 		  SOME POSSIBLE RISKS YOU MIGHT FACE IN GETTING IT

 		   
  I want to discover who I am.

  (1) People may not like me, and I'd feel unloved and alone.
(2) I might not like who I am, and I'd feel shame.
(3) I might not know how, and I'd feel afraid.
(4) I might find out I've been lying to myself, and feel shame.

   
  I want my family to see who I am and respect me, so that I respect myself. I want my self-respect.   (1) They might not like who I am, and I'd feel unloved and alone.
(2) I might be so different from them that I'd feel alien and alone.

   
 

 

Feedback

I want something that's not on the list. Can you suggest any risks?

 

 

 

Contact us         Copyright © 2008-2009 Alyce Barry. This page last updated 2/4/12.